War

With countless battles, the war is on
Season after season, it's never really gone
Win some, lose some, some we never choose
Few give up pot of gold, others chasing wild goose

Same battlefield, with different warriors getting along
Each to his own battle, no matter how short or long
Glancing others with a smile after a win
Losing paints the face with a cheeky grin

Giving it all, with or without help
Win is desired and all to oneself
Don't care if it makes other fall
One simply can't share defeat with y'all

With enough battles fought, light changes side
Starts to feel, battleground was never outside
Blind eyes to inner wars, staring at others
Watching it all going in vain, giving us shudders

Every chance to help others skipped, refuted
Could have easily won theirs, if contributed
Now everyone's looking in to the setting sun at bay
Helping each other win their wars, was the only way

Doesn't make sense

Does it?

The way we have been evolved in a society, not as humans, to behave in conditional stages like workplace or home, the only thing we use to protect and justify our sanity is by making sense out of everything. To escape it and retire to our more natural evolved self, we escape these facades and run to jungles, mountains, beaches and behave in absolute crazy ways or so we tell ourselves. Such are times of instant validation, that we don't let a single moment go by without sharing it with our bubble mates, only to feel the little kick of dopamine. The entire world needs to be transformed into a rehab to restore the mankind.

Everybody out there is walking down a similar pathway, wondering to themselves, if things are making sense or not. In a way it does, but for who? Us or just me? Our introspection doesn't necessarily have thoughts of our behaviour towards others but, in all likelihood, about how and what we did is going to improve our state of being. We all thought, growing up, about the freedom one enjoys being an adult; I know I did. And now, as adults, majority of people out there misses the old days, what the hell happened! I would be lying if I say I don't enjoy life as it unfolds everyday. Sure, good days and bad, but with acceptance growing rapidly I cannot deny the fact that I like the whole package. A particular mindset keeps you intrigued about the bads, misfortunes, being ill. Humans draw sadistic pleasures, some more publically than others, some more extreme but, nonetheless, everyone is losing on the empathy part. Simple reason is there's no time for that. We cannot escape to real world without looking into our electronic devices. Tables have turned, the reason is the same. If it is necessary, then and only then we will take a break from one world to tend to other.

Chasing fool's gold is a sensible way of life, at least, the most acceptable ones. Days of doing things in silence is getting lost. One cannot stop other for a chat, everybody have stuff to do. Though most of the stuff involves making others pause what they are doing and  shower some appreciation to us. So much for making sense. I used to think sanity lies in knowing the difference between sanity and insanity, and now the line's gone. Insanity is the new sanity. Crazy is the new normal. So, when you ask yourself everyday before crashing to bed, does this make sense? - you hear yourself saying, nothing does.

Regret

Just like any other feeling, it's the one we come across often in our lives. Majority of its impact depends on how you take it. Some people aren't enough emotional intelligent. But we all understand it in our own way.

We regret about missed opportunities, unfulfilled dreams, unchased romantic affairs, etc. Nonetheless, on a personal level we often miss to show it, after all why should we be telling the world about this. We see it everywhere though. We see people and we see their regrets in their eyes. Now, it's okay to see someone disappointed by something and is regretting as those things and situations are not there anymore. But when people are disappointed by another person and they have to see that person frequently, it's very important how you show your regret to that person.

Interstellar: HiFi SciFi!

The thought of watching a movie as good as it is shown in its trailer, itself was very ecstatic. Months before its release date I was waiting for the Nolan's so called masterpiece, anxiously.
Lot of planning and plotting at work place led me to the PVR, to witness the Magnum Opus with my own eyes.

The movie opens up with huge fields in the backdrop and a small family, in some remote countryside. The mystery builds up when the dust starts coming in from no where. You just have to accept the dust and not question it's origin. Brilliantly showcased by Nolan with the help of beautifully crafted little scenes of dust storm. Our protagonist, an astronaut-farmer, gets nightmares of flight mishap, crazy as hell for anything that flies so much so that he makes his son drive his truck on a flat tire just to capture a drone who's baseless origin was stated so deliberately in the movie as if it is going to make so much sense in the end. So, the little child see ghosts which later defines the entire theme of this movie. Scary though. :P With small incidents Nolan leads the hero to NASA and our go-getter boy takes up the space mission as easily as it sounds. The very spaceship which uses two propulsion rockets to escape the Earth's gravitational force later needs none to escape planets having 130% and 80% of Earth's gravity. But Nolan managed it, brilliant.

I must admit that the real theme of the movie was carefully hidden in the plain sight by inserting far too many vague, non-related scenes in between, throughout the movie. Why there is a blight? Where is the dust coming from? Why was the family shown having issues between them? The thing worth noticing is that the Director made these distracting scenes so shallow so that you wouldn't get lost in the unwanted directions. He forced the viewers to put their mind around space and time and supernatural phenomena, that worked in the trailers and also in the movie. 

One thing I must say, I did notice the difference in passage of time in space and on Earth. Like, while these guys were on a rescue mankind mission, carrying DNAs and stuff, with the idea of raising a fetus using surrogacy whose possibility was questionable based on the evidence and plan shown in the movie. And that is for obvious reasons, Nolan wanted viewers to push their imaginations and die wondering if at all these are even possible. Coming back to time, they took two major time jump, one 2-year sleep to reach near Saturn and another 23-years leap while they landed on one of the planets of another galaxy, but, trust me, inside the theater it felt like I am trapped inside a black hole for eternity. The movie grows into you forever, you just have to give in and believe what they are showing is actually true and logical. Nolan used simple, layman terms to describe what was happening in the space, so that it will connect to the viewers instantly, He didn't care even if the dialogues were lame and were of trivial impact on the minds of the audience. 

The story telling was brilliant, Nolan showed how one can do impossible things, like even if you are low on fuel you can travel half way around the universe and get back safely, or how one can survive in the black hole by not being sucked into singularity, how to be so down-to-earth and humble that even when you are heading NASA, you can drive a man's truck back to his home, after-all he is driving your space shuttle without any questions/conditions. The entire cast was smoking pot but this fact is not revealed by anything that you will see on screen. This is an amazing fact in itself.

The characters intrigued me a lot, like the Dr. Mann who was trapped in some remote planet for decades and have contributed a lot towards mankind had such low moral values that he spiked the recorded data and enters into a fist fight with another guy, halfway across the universe, that too for weirdly stupid reason. The never dying love which was pulling our leading lady in the movie, to travel to a planet, going where would be futile according to facts and logic and science. But, Love makes people do amazing things, no? Also, the way they showed how a crisis can be managed in deep space. Without logic, science and a plan they mnaged to do shitty things in some far off galaxy with utmost ease.  Respect the vision Nolan had while putting this shit together. My fav scene was when they kept a guy hanging in the universe for 23 years and he was like 'it's cool yo brah, happens to me all the time'.

Fist fights in some remote planet of the universe, managing blasts in absense of oxygen, surviving without medical help or food, people managing to take up deep space exploration without proper training, and shit more like these will totally blow your mind. This movie is a greatest sci-fi comedy troll you'll ever come across. If you haven't seen it yet, go watch now. If you like it, visit the nearest psychiatric ward without delay. Have fun. 

P.S. Couldn't write more at this time, might have to watch this brilliant shit again for some more insight.

I am !!

I think I am what you think I am.

When you thought I am a friend, I was.
When you thought I am happy, I became.
When you said I am no good, I worsen.
When you said I am the best, I was better.

I was quiet when you wanted me to.
I was there when you needed a support.
I left when you thought I would.
I came back just when you thought I should.

Motorcycles Diaries - Part One

“Sometimes it's a little better to travel than to arrive” 

― Robert M. Pirsig,

The Alarm was at its best when it went on at 4:30 AM on a Saturday Morning. I reluctantly called my friend, Max to give him a wakeup call as decided few hours before. After few thoughts I knew that I am going with the plan on this day. I was greeted by him at around 6:00 and on the Thunderbird 350 cc our Journey to Nimrana Fort begun.

Riding the monster in turns we reached Nimrana Fort at around 1000 hours with lot of little breaks in the highway. There stood a man in mustache in typical Rajasthani attire who welcomed us with not so pleasing words. We were told that the fort is now a hotel and the bookings are done from Delhi. Which also means that we could not enjoy anything there as all were for the guests of Nimrana Fort. Not sure what to do next, quick calls were made to random friends equipped with internet and familiar with the geographical locations of Rajasthan. Suggestions came in from all directions; 'go to Jaipur', 'Ajmer' , ' no... go to Alwar', etc.

We took our time and finally decided to take our chances with Sariska Tiger Reserve as guided by a local cab driver. Little did we know about what's going to unfold ahead, we kept the same enthusiasm of a traveler. We have already crossed Nimrana and the road to Sariska was through Behror and Alwar. The road from Behror to Alwar was a Biker's nightmare. It was broken all along till 7kms before Alwar. The best part in that summer heat was the sound of the monster. Suddenly Life had the background score. The GPS on the phone said follow the road endlessly. Somehow, we still manage to ask the lone locals about the road ahead, and would follow their pointers skeptically. We crossed lot of resorts, which people said would help us getting a jungle safari. We zoomed past them.

We stopped at a roadside cafe to brace ourselves with some chilled liquid drinks and ask about our itinerary. The guy offered tips and suggestions that we can spend the night there and with lots of entertaining things around we were thinking that we might go for it. But there was something that was dragging us to take one more step. And finally we left for greater glory.

Not to mention the road was at its worst and we, trying to ride through the pit holes, finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We were at the Sariska Wildlife Sanctuary. It was almost the closing time and we managed to get a safari ride equipped with a human guide to show us the jungle. They took us to route 3, making it clear that the chance of spotting a tiger is scarce. Nevertheless, we were excited to see the jungle and the antelopes which include Neelgai, Sambar, spotted deer and plenty of birds. Then it rained. The jungle was, all of a sudden, more beautiful. We spotted the Peacocks dancing with their feathers in the air, fully spread. It was majestic. The safari ended in no time with lot of sight-seeing and the guide showing us few of the hunted animals' corpses half-eaten on the cruise. 

After this we decided to ride back to Alwar for the night stay. We rode in the mesmerizing weather and in no time we were there. We asked about a place to stay and finally got ourselves a nice hideout of RTDC. We ordered food in the room and had plenty of discussions on various topics which led us to sleep. Next morning was supposed to take us to Alwar fort and museum and then back to Delhi.

We took off to the Police station to get an approval to visit the fort. The uphill road to the fort was fascinating itself. The curvy roads with valleys around quickly took us to the top. The fort was in jarred condition and repair work was in progress. We entered the fort and looked into every nook and corner of it. Finally when we came to the exit gate a Police officer told us not to go inside the fort as it is prohibited because of the on-going maintenance work. We laughed mildly and descended to the Museum in the city. The museum was nice displaying the literature and weapons. The variety of guns and swords were amazing. The mercury was rising and we decided to leave Alwar. 

We devoured few roadside delicacies and left for Delhi. This time we managed to get another state highway, which was newly constructed. It took us no time to reach the NH8 with few stops in between. Once we were in the highway we stopped for lunch and then reached Gurgaon in good time. The city traffic caught our tired selves and slowly guided us to our homes.

We settled in our adobes thinking about the hell of a ride and made promises to ourselves for forthcoming trips. Many more to come.. stay tuned ..

Day 45375

Today was normal. 

Can you Love?

Always followed the word with a notion given to me by the only television, right from my childhood.

As Indians grow up they don't really bother themselves with this little word. We have serious things to look at like world peace, right? So, the information we keep accumulating is radiated from the television and the surrounding anti-social elements. You know things like in movies, dancing in rain and eating few kasams and all.. and whacking the villain's rear assets to name a few. Neighborhood information constitutes of talks like - see that girl/boy? ; i love him/her (long before you know what's love) and likes. I never remembered if any of such things ever happened to me in early childhood days or did I get and clumsy/complex feelings. But, there was something and it was forbidden in the place where I grew up.

Thanks to the society, the children were supposed to follow a normal routine daily, a pre-defined one. I never thought of things I think now. Wish something never changed. Anyways, so it is more like non-expressing and shy. When you don't know what to say you never speak up or you end up saying something absolutely irrelevant. I didn't want to be in the later so i just keep numb.

With passing days and my learning self I explored more and transformed myself.
I was overwhelmed with the things I found and thought of what not. I know that emotions played a major role in one's life. I tried to gain control over them. I had to create situations for blurting out each emotion. I started playing around. Anger, cheerful, sad, frown, stress, etc.

Then someday I thought of 'the word'. I was, then, recently told that this is the only thing that exist and you should be grateful to it. I went through a major transformation. I started to think over it. The whole logic thing go for a toss. You cannot think rational. It can destroy you, mishandled. I gotta tell you, but, this thing got enormous power. You might get carried away. Soon you tend to realize that it is fading, it always does. Love is like that only.

Being in love can do wonders for one. The keyword is love and not loving someone, if you may take notice. Loving someone is just a small part of the entire thing. The way to use this is to start form love and end up in loving someone. Loving someone might not actually end up in love. When I started tapping keys on my keyboard, I thought it can be described and now I am falling short of words. I know it can be defined in infinite possible ways and yet it cannot be confined to a single word but 'Love'.

It controls every other emotion of yours. Someday, when you are kinda disturbed, you know, emotionally you cannot just be normal in your behavior. You cannot love. The next time somethings go haywire ask yourself- Can you love? If you can things would be great. You can always learn it. right?

Just remember it is way too big word for defining even the relationship between Souls and yet so simple as to wake up everyday and smile.

Love is like the intoxicating drug for the mind and key to heart.

On a lighter note:

If anyone has trouble finding the key to my heart, I keep an extra set under my kidney stones.

Underwent Transformation!

We always wish we wouldn't change and we always do. Sometimes feels that those were the best days and I shouldn't have changed this much and sometimes you look back and say- I was so dumb back then. I believe in transformation so much as to in Life. To me you stop living when you stop changing. These processes can be hard to get hold off if you are not aware of them. For Instance the changes that occur in adolescent period are fast and worth noticing. You can't help but see them coming. And given a favorable environment it goes well. But once you're past your teens change take a gradual pace. You have no clue what you are undergoing. This phase is also known as quarter-life crisis (may be).

The point is when you do not know you are changing and people might instead know, they seem to respond accordingly which puts you in the situation to think what wrong could you have done to attract such responses. That is where it all begins. Your behavior changes to erratic from normal. I am forced to believe when little transformation hits someone there is a visual change in their behavior if they are extrovert people. On the other hand this can be more subtle and go without noticing in case of shy/introvert people. You tend to react to everything around you. Only certain things/music/people/place/event soothes you. That is the point where you might think that these things define you when you yourself doesn't have a clue of what's going on. This situation leads to confusion and whole life go for a toss resulting in total turmoil.

Some people still appears ultra cool to such phases in life. For the one reason which kept them going is that they never miss a chance to shut up. If you can restrict yourself from speaking unnecessarily 90% of your problems can disappear.. poof!! They say when you are in deep shit just keep your mouth shut and everything  will be alright. The other thing might help here is that few people get companionship to get away from the transformation crisis. This is equally effective to resolve the side effects.

Some people never get to see this phase. They are probably those on whom the jokes are made by the stand-up comedians.

Anyway .. I was just watching a documentary on parallel universe and dozed off to see an incredibly amazing dream.. Stay tuned for next article.. I might pull few strings there.. till!

Home sweet home!

"What is the time you were supposed to come at ?"
Me - At 9 A.M.
"What's the time now?"
Me - Its almost 11 :P
"It's not almost 11, it is 11".
"Let me check whether we could take you in today. Just wait there."
I said ok and sat down at the reception.
In mind rushed millions of thoughts about my life which was off track for last four longest months of my life. I parted my ways from IT swearing never to come back to this part of the world. I took a decision which was not accepted by many. And appreciated by some. I did what I had too. With slightest idea of what is going to unfold I started my venture. My vision was at all times very clear but at times shaky (thanks to the expected support I did not get). 
I would not say hard work but being persistent with my efforts I finally made progress at snail's pace. After all this was the only thing I was left with. I left my job and with it my social life died. Life was a stand still. I was more like in a house arrest. Slowly I build the launching platform for myself with some help which was called for obviously. And now the only thing left is to mobilize it. As they say (like always) the hardest part of a thousand miles journey is to take the first step.
Coming back to today I knew how important this affair is to me. I was already feeling exhausted like I have lost the battle. And then came a ray of hope when I heard those words,
"Welcome to the company" 
with this she greeted me with a lovely bouquet.

I was revived. I opened my mouth to say "home sweet home".

It is the beginning..... !!!

wil keep you guys posted

To sum it all

I was home in no time.

The date is 7th January. I left job today. Till yesterday everything seem so normal, until today when I reached office. I have this deep wrenching feeling inside me about leaving the place. I came to this office 4 months back, but my association with the organization goes three and a half years back. I have made several relations here. I have met hundreds of people here. I did whatever I had to, sometimes, whatever being told to. Still remember the first day, as like yesterday, afresh. And after that the journey started.

With an awesome ITP batch (NCS 26) of crazy people we started our journey inside the company. Everyday was fun to be with them. Introduction to CS was divine. The thrill of exams and then the anxiety of the results were equally awesome. And if you are to describe each incident as vividly as it rests in my memory, it would bring a 5 point someone to shame. The technical training was so much fun until we started with our Behavioral and voice & accent training. These exceeded every single previous set parameters of fun and masti. The unimaginable fun at office was just started. And we did take it a long way to do every thing possible inside office. Our masti ki pathshala was shaping up everyday. We drew closer to each other. Everybody was enjoying and we never realized how soon it was over.

And then they gave us something like project based technical training ( the use of dreadful words start here). Our batch was divided into two and separately trained on two different technologies. This training was more of a kick to come back to the real world after all that fun of ITP. This was a boring session and we ended it soon to go to the waiting room for few days to follow for our allocation to different projects.

And soon enough almost all of us got allocated to a department. And subsequently and precisely five of us (including me ) got the piece of cake. The most crucial and critical and hyped and what-not project. The aura of the project itself was more terrifying than the project itself. Somehow we started learning our way through. I got lucky enough to get good mentors (SP and NS). They taught me well. And I got my first desk, a proper one. yay! And my neighbors were awesome too. I got an ITP batch-friend at one baju and a then to-be-my-guide on other baju. This went for like a year with all the countless number of incidents where you would die laughing on the floor. The tense project moments. The ifs and buts, and oops. But we kept sailing and then one day they decided to trade-off the project with another one. Our whole project group was fallen apart. Some resigned, some switched to other project/location/wherever.

And yours truly moved ahead for greater good. Into a testing project with the mindset of completing the bond period and do an (:P) MBA. This project and one after this one isn't much worthy of writing here, except for the wonderful people who I met. And finally I moved to NOIDA.

Life changed. Lifestyle's changed. I was me again. A new start. No one knows me here. And I have a very good way to go about such situations where I am about to enter a new social circle. The advantage is I can project myself as I want to in a better way. Overcoming previous flaws. I just love it. Got few people to talk to inside office, but after that I was bored. I took up blogging and then bored. Facebook and then bored. Everything and then bored again. The project was also sucking big time.

In the midst of all these, Corbett's trip came like fresh air. I had my time. Hardly knew couple of guys before going to the trip and end up knowing everybody. Feels good. And finally soon after the trip I decided to resign. I did. And then I realized I have made few good friends here. And so far so good. I keep bettering every moment. I am more relieved now.

The project people were good so much so that they even gave me a farewell. And a TT bat-ball as a parting gift. I was overwhelmed. the emotions got good of me. I almost choked while saying a few words as asked. :P And few close friends become closer. I realized soon enough that I am losing my identity. I am becoming like them. But, I am gaining worth. I know now, its people who can make you feel special or ordinary. You can never. I took off from office and in no time I was home through the same route which took me almost 80 minutes on any normal day.

This was end of my first company's story. Now I look back and smile. I did just. No regrets.

Who Am I?

The quest to find oneself is a never ending one, I guess. Almost 99 percent  of people ont he planet everyday thinks of the same question. Who am I? And then they try to answer this question with their profound logics and beliefs. " I am what I am", "I am cool, I a hot. I am everything you are not." and what-not. Yours truly also sometime thinks of this question and comes out with a different answer every time (kinda improvising). Earlier I was with the no stereotype attitude. Then I picked up the unique/different tag. This time when this question hit me I sat down to some serious thinking. The analysis took the bottom-up/ top-down/ lateral/ any other/etc. approach to get to the base of this question. And then I started seeing myself with everybody else's eyes. Bingo!

I am a different person now. Every changing second. Let me give you an example. People generally end up saying that I am very comfortable with him/her. I can be me with them. And I think, what are you at times when you are not you? Someone else? I don't know. I cannot think of anyone else whose role I might be playing when I am not me. I ought to be me. But not as I know me, as you know me. Getting the point?

It's people or the surrounding what makes you different everytime. When we are with comfortable with people/situations of our choice we say we are being ourselves. But as they turn adverse we deny to own our character.

I think I am what you think I am.

When you thought I am a friend, I was.
When you thought I am happy, I became.
When you said I am no good, I worsen.
When you said I am the best, I was better.

I was quite when you wanted me to.
I was there when you needed a support.
I left when you thought I would.
I came back just when you thought I should.

All I am saying is whatever you were expecting from me consciously/sub-consciously I was turning in to one. If you think this is not the case with anyone else. It's time for a reality check. No matter what you do, people will always think what they want to think. But, its only the half way through. Coz

You will only know what I wanted to show.

Will explore that aspect in the next blog.. :P

That's how I did it!!

My first last-day-email of my first and last company JJJJJJJJJJ

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

from	Vivek Rungta
to		TechM BBNMS LS
cc		"jusliketht@gmail.com"
date		Fri, Jan 7, 2011 at 7:55 PM
subject		Another one.....

……bites the dust!!!!

Today I settle my accounts with Tech M for the one last time. Here I am sending a last mail(customary) summing up my last 3.5 years ( with all mixed feelings).

This place has given me a lot more than what it has taken from me ( I am serious). I will always cherish the transformation it brought in me. Thanks to the wonderful people I met here.

You did make a difference in my life ( even if it’s small, it counts :P). You backed me up sometimes. And let me down too. We together had pulled out impossible things in stringent timelines. And we did nothing for days, sometimes :P (jk). I have seen people doing things I would never imagine ( in good and sometimes even in bad sense), but that’s how we do things here, isn’t it?

I just don’t want this mail to be a medium to vent out my emotions, but then I won’t get another chance. I here take my chance to be candid. (righteous!)

I started with an awesome batch as my ITP mates. I still remember each day afresh. Everything we did was a celebration. I got introduced to CS, we had parties, we had classroom fun. Thanks to the trainers. Everyday inside this company was a learning experience. Few were too harsh. Sometimes efforts go unrecognized and would hurt like hell. But, sometimes small words of appreciation from your side made my entire day (even weeks….:D).

I believe that it is hard to live without a social life. I used to say- I am not here to make friends. I thought good people cannot do bad things to you. I thought your hard work would always pay, no matter what. Thanks for proving me wrong guys. I still got my self-respect intact after these many years inside an IT organization only because of the guys I met here. ( As they said people in IT are unethical, sometimes.. lolz)

The only thing I was worried about when I started this journey was I should not regret it on a day like today. Have I made it large? is the question I ask myself everyday.

I might have hurt you, been rude/non-cooperative/immune towards your expectations and what-not’s. But everything inside the office is purely business and nothing’s personal. I had my part of learning with equal fun. Today I walk out with no grudges to hold but only memories to cherish.

Always stand for what you believe in life, even it means standing alone. Believe me it will get you a good night’s sleep.

And be sincere in your life, not serious ( you won’t get out alive, anyways)

I hope the change bring all the good things in our lives.

You can always get back to me (I would really love that) at:

My personal email id : jusliketht@gmail.com

I would really love to work with you (well, some for sure) in future. May our paths cross soon.

Adios till we meet again….

Godspeed,

Vivek Rungta

For my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority itself!!

p.s. : Assuming that you are immune to the little irrelevance in the context of this mail to you, you would do selective reading.

p.p.s. : You might be flattered or offended by the content of this mail, but I cannot be more unbiased.

p.p.p.s. : The reason I have not mentioned your name explicitly in this mail because you will understand. This mail has reached you after all, isn’t it? You mean a lot to me.

p.p.p.p.s. :  I hope you had a great first week of the new year 2011. For the rest of the days here is me wishing you a Happy and healthy and wealthy new year 2011. May you get all you have ever deserved.

p.p.p.p.p.s. : If you are wondering why have you received this mail from me, for the simple reason that you might be a part of my group/project/friends or you might have sent me your Last day mail or may be  because I want you to read this email.

Thanks to ??? (a.k.a. - friend) for everything.. J

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What does it matter?

Life's changing so fast that I feel I am almost left behind.

But, what does it matter. Everyday you just become more immune to the surroundings, people around you get used to you, you get bored and then the quest begins. The search for the next big thing. In my life I do not know what I want. I have spent 95 percentage of my current age in looking for what I want ( only that I dint know it). Some day you just stop to look back at things and question, " is this what I wanted?". Obvious answer is NO. In my case it is "I don't know". Being born in a particular sunshine I am quite indecisive and confused most of the times. I think I love this girl and then someone else appears out of no where and captures my whole attention. I am not sure of anything when I go for shopping. I used to have a tough time in my last office while finalizing my lunch ( got few witnesses too). Then there are cases when I am not too sure of which option to chose. Probably that might have also affected my CAT results. Anyways, the point I want to make here is .. ? ( I don't know).

But, as soon as I realized that I have this immense talent of indecisiveness inside me, I have to somehow figure out a way to survive in the woods. I decided (:P) to embrace life with both hands. 'Come what may' is what I wear these days. I take every opportunity with both hands. I am completely open to what ever life has to offer me. I have simply quit making decisions. Howz that for a change?

Kool. Now I am kinda eased of. But then again when you come to think of it - What does it matter?

Wah Wah!!!

Tanhai hai pyar me,

barbadi hai pyar me,

aansu hai pyar me,

bebasi hai pyar me,

gum bhi hai pyar me,

hume sab pata hai lekin kya karen 

hum bhi hai pyar me..!!!


c-fwd!

When it's you!!

Some days you just wake up and you are thankful to be alive. Some days you do not.

Some days you wake up with a smile. Some days you cannot.

trying my hands on writing something like poem.. :P :P

Nothing is as it were before,

and the hell I did not care

I found you and I swore,

to lose you I can never dare.

Times changed and so everything,

I have changed and so the world

Lost always and usually I sing,

Feels like I am, kinda whirled.

I wish you all the good,

As now that is all I can say

life will go as it should,

Someday It might turn my way.

Have nothing left to explore,

You made my world shine.

Like the waves met their shore.

And the glass completes the wine.

In the wild wild woods

Many came and left few,

I am more than crazy

and alive, when it's you.

All that Matters!!

El Quote 

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." Albert Einstein 

Everybody says that Attitude is all that matters. Build a positive attitude and you will be successful and happy. But, you keep wondering, how. And that is the most important thing. You need to choose your attitude. Shape it well to reach great self realization. 

Everyday you have a choice to be positive or negative. You choose to be negative and you get a bad day. May be it keeps you happy. But at the end of the day you lost one day with a negative attitude. That one day hardly matters in your really long life. On the other hand you keep positive attitude and see the difference. No matter what happens be positive. Try this exercise for a day/week/month/life long and you find the difference. It does not take courage to be positive. It is a simple task and everyone can do it.

Once I started with a really bad day. Series of mis-fortunate events started from the early hours till night. But somehow I was very happy that day and after every mis-fortune I told to myself this is the last. And soon the day was finished and I found the whole day was miserable but I didn't lose my cool and I was unaffected by any of the events. In a moment I realized the power of positive attitude.

It's time for you to try it now! There is never a wrong time to do a good thing. Do it now.

just few lines!!!

I love to love,
I care to care.
I wish to wish,
I dare to dare.

I dream to dream,
I cry to cry.
I try to scream,
I never fail to try.

I love to live,
I desire to fly.
You belong to me.
I belong to thy.

Right time to Break-Free?

The other day, I was thinking of one of my college mates. He was a shy guy from a small town. Always been bullied by everyone else. You can relate him to a typical character form any movie in which there is a college-going-students' group and one that is bullied. And then I remember that particular guy got out of college and went for job and lo! - look at him now. He is all smart and out-going. Knows how to talk and behave. You know what i mean. Now this guy is not like before. You cannot bully him. And you cannot accept him as he has become. But, he has made his life more easy. Only now you will like him less. But he has gained a respect among his new acquaintances.

So, whatever change he underwent was for his own good. But the society around him wasn't ready to accept those changes. He broke his threshold and transformed. And this happens to all of us sometime. You feel this when you meet some of the old folks after 3-4 long years and you have this deep wrenching feeling inside your stomach about that guy. Your feelings have changed for that someone and so is his/her's. Obviously the intensity of disliking each other is directly proportional to the index of transformation.

Just thinking of breaking free!!
Are you ready?